Wednesday, October 19, 2011

love in a hopeless place ...


i’ve been pondering a potentially controversial topic lately ...


marriage.

or the lack thereof, to be precise.

i was radio-surfing while driving the other night, and rhianna’s new song ‘we found love’ caught my attention. all i really heard of it was the repetitive chorus, “we found love in a hopeless place.” looking up the lyrics later, i realize that this is not at all what the song is about, but it served to provide a bit of encouragement, nonetheless.

i must admit - and i’m pretty sure i’m not the only one who would say - that the chances of getting married can seem rather slim at times. according to the united states census bureau, the singles population has nearly "quadrupled in just one generation." people are waiting longer and longer, championing independence and success instead of dedicating themselves to the Godly pursuit of marriage. all the while, on some level, they still long for the blissful union that God has promised. but they are told that they should be content in their singleness - revel in it, even.

yes, there’s something to be said for being content and trusting God with wherever He has placed you. but, as candice watters states in her article ‘getting to marriage’ on boundless.org, “a generation of singles are stuffing their discontent and starting to believe that it's their discontent, and not their protracted singleness, that is their sin.”

singleness a sin? i’ve never thought of it that way before, but it makes a lot of sense to me.

we spend so much time trying to figure things out before wanting to join our lives with another. but maybe the reason we have so much trouble trying to figure things out for ourselves is because we were never supposed to try and figure things out on our own. we aren’t supposed to have so much of our stories written because we’re supposed to be writing them with someone else. i could be wrong, but it sure seems like figuring out life and joining our giftings with someone else would be so much easier and more enjoyable than trying to figure it out on our own.

so what are we waiting for?

candice goes on to assert that society has convinced us we should be waiting “for a miracle story that defies the odds.” but while you wait, “chances are you’ll miss out on what could have been ... wonderful and timely.” are we waiting for someone to walk into our lives? or are we expecting fireworks? maybe we should start praying for God to open our eyes and soften our hearts to the people who we are already doing life with on some level.
i say this with no ulterior motives, as i can be as guilty of this as the next person. it's just that i see an awful lot of Godly singles around me who are not dating and have to believe that there is surely a solution more simple than we're making it. things may seem hopeless, but could it be that the love we’ve been waiting for has been standing right in front of us all along?

leave it to a random song on the radio to remind me that love can, indeed, be found in even the most [seemingly] hopeless places.

2 comments:

  1. I was fortunate enough to hear Rebecca St James speak this summer... and as a 10 years + married woman, some of the things she said surprised me. She was speaking of meeting her husband and how Blessed she felt, but at the same time, shortly before that, was thinking that maybe God didn't have anyone for her (and Im paraphrasing here) that maybe she was meant to be single and share her message of waiting.... Sooo.... idk how that pertains to where you are... BUT it could be MUCH worse.

    I am at the part in life right now where divorce happens. People in our life that we thought were happy, best friends we vacationed with, people we had over for Thanksgiving are ending their marriages. Be thankful you aren't in a cruel, or heartless, or abusive relationship/marriage. But at the same time, be prayerful that God has your perfection in wait for you.


    Praying for you Christine...

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  2. I have a lot to say about this topic, but don't want to get too lengthy. We are better together than apart. One can put one thousand to fight, but two can put ten thousand to flight!!! So much more can be done in life and more importantly for the Kingdom as two. So, why I am still single? It is not for refusing lots of proposals. I don't see a lot of the single men I know pursuing. I don't feel it is my role to do that part of the coming together. I heard an amazing teaching from Plumbline Ministries that said that many men from the current generation were not taught how to fight for what they want and how to protect(often because of no father in the home or absent father out trying to make money). That is how I am praying- for both sexes to be the way God created them to be- and for men to pursue these amazing single women I do life with:)

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