it is not good for man to marry ... ?

yay for starting stimulating conversations! thanks to those who commented. this is the beginning of my response/an addendum to what i wrote, as there is only so much you can say in 500ish words. ultimately, my heart is for the healing that makes marriage possible, and for the healing only made possible within the context of marriage. taking an honest look and being willing to talk about it is a good place to start ...

tonight i will look at a passage of scripture frequently cited to support the position against marriage.

my good friend ron mentioned paul saying it was not good for a man to marry. this is an issue addressed in 1 corinthians 7. paul does say that it is good to live a celibate life, and that he wishes everyone was single like him. but he goes on to acknowledge how difficult it is to stay pure while unmarried. “if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. it’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” (v. 9) he says that “God gives to some the gift of marriage, and to others the gift of singleness.” (v. 7) call me crazy, but if someone was given the GIFT of singleness, then it would be something that they actually enjoyed and found easy, rather than something they loathed.

“now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. i do not have a command from the Lord for them ... if you do get married, it is not a sin ... however, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and i am trying to spare you those problems.” (vv. 25 & 28) not that you should ever go into marriage expecting it to fix any problems you might have, but it’s funny because paul says that like the people who stay single won’t have any problems. being a single and being married each have their own set of problems. it’s about choosing which set you would rather have.

in verse 35, the conclusion that paul makes is, “i am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. i want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” like lainie said in her comment, i believe “We are better together than apart. One can put one thousand to flight, but two can put ten thousand to flight!!! So much more can be done in life and more importantly for the Kingdom as two.”

the take home message is this: “the time that remains is very short. so from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. for this world as we know it will soon pass away.” (vv. 29-31) just like with anything, moderation is key. marriage is great, as long as it does not become your sole focus, placing it and your spouse above God. the same is true of singleness. don’t become so attached to your single state that you are unwilling to lay it aside, and don’t let your desire for marriage become a distraction from serving God in the meantime.

keep the comments coming. any points i missed or should consider? so much remains to be discussed!