rising above ...

i love watching ‘biggest loser’, less because of the dramatic weight loss and more because of the drastic emotional transformations that take place during their time on the show. the majority of weight issues are truly emotional issues, and i find it so interesting to watch them break through to the root of their problems, learn the tools to deal with them in healthier ways, and find true freedom and healing, with weight loss as the natural result.

there was a moment on the scales tonight that really hit home with a lot of what i’ve been writing about lately. this was a big week, where each of the contestants needed to lose 9 pounds for everyone to gain immunity. while only two of the players actually did their part, there was one woman who actually gained 5 pounds this week. in ‘biggest loser’ world, that is unheard of! she could not understand what had happened, and said that she felt humiliated for having let everyone down.

but the trainers were quick to jump in and remind her that those 5 pounds could not define her. they all knew that was not who she was, and she couldn’t let one off week become her identity. she had to choose whether she would let those feelings of guilt and humiliation and frustration get her down, or if she would rise above.

that was a choice i had to make today. i’ve had a really hard couple of weeks, both emotionally and physically. yesterday at work was particularly challenging, and i was dreading facing another 4 days of the same. but after writing last night’s blog, i knew that the discouragement i felt was not from God, and that i had to choose to rise above and not give satan the upper hand any more. so i entered the day with a much more positive attitude, praising God for even a small shift in my thinking.

then i got a call from my doctor.

my insurance company had denied coverage for a ct scan. after over 3 months of persistent unexplainable pleurisy and fatigue, i was expectant for answers. now we were back to square one. in that moment, hopelessness threatened to overcome. i couldn’t let another setback define me or my attitude. discouragement is not from God, i reminded myself. i had to choose whether i would let those feelings of desperation get me down again, or if i would rise above, trusting that God was still in control.

“i don’t know all the answers, but i know the one Who does,” the saying goes. a bump in the road doesn’t change that fact. i don’t know where my answer lies, but i know that God has known from the beginning, that i am in His perfect care until it comes, and that “[He] will keep in perfect peace all who trust in [Him], all whose thoughts are fixed on [Him]!” (isaiah 26:3)