sometimes i forget ...

the ability to trust God for His best means mourning what you thought would be and letting go of what you thought should be.

by God’s grace alone, i’m able to do this with relative ease most of the time. i know that He has “plans to prosper [me] and not to harm [me], plans to give [me] hope and a future.” (jeremiah 29:11). i know that what satan intended for harm, God intends for good to accomplish His purposes (Genesis 50:20). i know that He is the good shepherd who came that we may have life, and have it to the full (john 10:10-11). i know that i will not be forgotten by Him (isaiah 44:21). “and [i] know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (romans 8:28).

but sometimes i forget.

sometimes my unmet desires become heavier on my heart than God’s prevailing promises. sometimes the sickness of deferred hope (proverbs 13:12) is greater than the strength that comes from waiting on Him (isaiah 40:31). sometimes this little sheep loses sight of how good her shepherd is.

in times like these, i need to be reminded to remember ...

my soul is downcast within me; therefore i will remember You. (v. 6)

i need to remember that the crashing waves of God’s love are far greater than the waves of this world, and that His love is with me always ...

deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. by day the LORD directs His love, at night His song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life. (vv. 7-8)

it’s encouraging to remember that i can cry out to Him ...

i say to God my Rock, “why have you forgotten me? why must i go about mourning? ...) send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. (v. 9 & 11)

david asks for God to send His light and care, but the reality is that these things never leave us. and the reality is that david knows this, too. three times in these two chapters he asks, "why, my soul, are you downcast? why so disturbed within me?" and three times he reminds himself to praise and put his hope in God.

hebrews 10:23 says, “let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”

it is not our hope that should not waver, but our hold on the confession of that hope. so it’s okay that we wrestle with God over matters of the heart as long as we keep reminding ourselves of His faithfulness. it is that reminder which enables us to lay our own wills - and ideas of what could and should be - on His altar, and praise Him simply because He is our God.

then i will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. i will praise you with the lyre, o God, my God. (psalm 43:4)