the beauty of process ...

one of my most persistent struggles has always been knowing how to let people into my life. as much as i have desperately desired to have someone walking beside me, i haven’t known how to invite them into the process. i am a ‘gift wrapper’. i like to have things all figured out and neatly packaged before i ‘present’ my issue to anyone. unfortunately, that doesn’t leave much room for relationship.

this afternoon, i snuggled up with a blanket and a pillow to watch/ listen to my friend write a song. she was still figuring out lyrics and notes and chords, a process made more difficult because she was forcing herself write it on the guitar instead of the piano.

it was a beautiful thing.

she could have not done it with me there because she was worried about it not being perfect yet - about not having it all figured out, about working in a medium she is not fully comfortable with. but there was something so sweet about getting to witness the journey - the frustration, the elation, the raw emotion. she would check to see if a section was okay, and keep doing it over and over until it was just right. i know that being a part of the process will make me appreciate the finished product that much more.

what a perfect picture of relationship. my challenge is not worrying about it not being perfect yet - about not having it all figured out. i have to be willing to step outside of my comfort zone, even if that makes the process more difficult. i shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed of the emotions - they are just a part of the process. others can’t take as much joy in my elation if they have not also been allowed to experience my frustration. i have to keep fighting until the battle has been won, no matter how many times in takes. that doesn’t mean i’m asking them to fight for, or even with me. it’s just SO much easier to keep fighting when you know that you’re not in it alone. sharing the journey makes the final destination that much more beautiful, for everyone.

the same is true of our relationship with God.

i want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead. i want to suffer with him, sharing in His death ... i don’t mean to say that i have already achieved these things or that i have already reached perfection. but i press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. (philippians 3:10 & 12)

we don’t have to have it all figured out. we just have to keep pressing on. we’re all in process. and the coolest part is, we all get to be in process, together.

after writing that last night, i got this email in my today:
i want you to experience the riches of your salvation, the joy of being loved constantly and perfectly. you make a practice of judging yourself based on how you look or behave or feel. when you feel discouraged, you tend to look inward so you can correct whatever is wrong. instead of trying to ‘fix’ yourself, fix your gaze on Me (hebrews 12:2), the lover of your soul. (from Jesus Calling)

i sought the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. they looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed. (psalm 34:4-5)

God is all about the process. we don’t have to have it all figured out for Him. but He can’t figure it out for us unless we’re honest about our struggles. as long as we keep looking to Him, we can let our guards down and not be ashamed. it is by inviting God into our process that we can have the confidence to invite others into our process. and the sharing of our process is a beautiful thing!